desperate. rants.

wala lang. hindi ko lang alam kung bakit ganito...May 15, 2007 ata ang dahilan.

i think, the only thing that keeps me going, for now, is the fun fact that i've got real friends.. a supporting ..[arnie]?

anlungkot ko kanina, as in nung inumpisahan ko siya e. tapos, ngayon.. edit2,.. haha.pero, ewan, yun nga.

as i look back, katulad kanina..i remember someone joking about admiring me. haaay nakooo... pero, ewan, it gives me flutterbies. haha

anyway, i'm currently watching The Correspondents. andon si Mikaela Fudolig, and she said something like "meron akong kakilala na matalino, pero, dahil restricted yung curriculum nila, they don't go beyond"...meron din daw siyang mga kakilala na tinatamad na mula sa kanilang katalinuhan, kaya hindi nalilinang...

ngayong teacher na siya, gusto raw sana niyang i-educate yung mga tao.. sayang raw kasi ang mga bagay2...

haay, siya na ang Summa cum laude.. 1.099 ang average? kamusta ka? T_T

"Only 16 years old, Fudolig is the youngest student to be graduated by the University in the recent years and one of only two admitted to UPD without a high school diploma and without taking the UP College Admission Test. She was only 11 years old and a sophomore at the Quezon City Science High School when she was granted permission to enroll at UPD as a non-degree student, having volunteered for a prototype Early College Placement Program the UPD College of Education was spearheading. After earning remarkable grades for an academic year, the Department of Education (DepEd) endorsed her admission to UPD, which was approved by the UP Board of Regents on May 30, 2003."

-----naalala ko lang yung sabi ni **. la lang. school nila yun e. quesci... tapos, ngayon, naunahan pa siya maka-graduate ng college. hehe.. XP

anyway, balik sa The Correspondents.. andami ngang pinagdaraanan ng Gifted Child. la lang.. nagfee-feeling ako. haha. there's something going on inside me. nyek.

bakit ganon? si Shaira Luna, inggit ako sa kanya noon e.. galing kasi.. tapos, ngayon, photographer na siya.. maganda naman.. gusto ko rin sa De La Salle University. hehe. tapos, photography.. nakita ko yung mga pose na pinapagawa niya sa mga clients niya,, wala lang.. prang ang gaganda.. tapos, yun nga raw, prang, she let go the memory of the past.. ngayon lang daw siya prang nagiging bata.. o.o

haay. dahil sa kapapanood ko, kung ano2 na naman pumapasok sa isip ko.. haay.

two years and a day..

so, it was two years. since i guaranteed someone to keep him for myself...and it ended up within 6 months. sad, but true.

well, actually, it wasn't really a real and serious oath, for i was still so young.. though, i wanted to keep it, things really do change, and for me, it happened all so fast.

regrets doesn't happen in this side of my life anyway, though, it disturbs just a LITTLE bit. you know what I mean...i'm happy with whom i am with anyway...;)

recently, we're having this short conversations. [really. short. concise. to the point.] the casual talk is always about, guess what?, UPM...until these words sprang up. "stop chasing other's dreams."

I do have mine, yet, what do you suppose i SHOULD do?? i can never bring my dream back to life again. i left it since i last cried on it...waaah! basta. hindi na ako pwedeng bumalik don. bakit? pag-aaralin mo ba ako? T_T

14But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your hearts, don’t brag about being wise. That is the worst kind of lie. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and motivated by the Devil. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil. ----james 3:14-16

and so, it happened.well, anyway. back to the topic.

nagtext siya, kung tanda ko pa raw ba yung notebook? [trivia. first gift yun na nagtatagal kung saan nakalista ang tracklist ng pinakaunang compilation ng mga dedicated na kanta para sa akin..at take note. meron pang tig-isang tula ang mga kantang iyon. haha...*nauna kasing natanggap ko na galing sa kanya ay LOAD. haha. lolz.*]

i looked for the notebook. i was told by someone else that his heart still shouts every word from that gift...then, he also mentioned the song "tensionado"...[actually,i never liked that song. haha, peace.]