Second to the Last Semester :)

gradeslip says, "hi world!"

hahaha

I got my gradeslip today, at around 14:21, claimed with an "I-just-got-out-from-the-laundry" test permit (because my mom dumped my bag on the laundry trying to get it cleaned up --which I eventually did), with at least 5 clinical instructors watching me hand it out to the administrator of the grade slips.

Funnier thing during that moment was , my friend has left his test permit again! :p first was during the signing of clearance/issuance of finals stamp.

I was so disappointed with myself, for not fighting for at least some point higher grade... a Full Scholarship requirement is a grade not lower than 1.75 and an average of not lower than 1.50.

To think of it, a "0.08" point difference from that cutoff would cost me about, say, P22,000. Imagine what I could have done with that money. It's enough to pay for a review center in preparation for the Nursing Licensure Exams! o_o

.....O_O

Cindy, Zaida and Chelcy (who was having her 13th birthday today) went here just this afternoon to spend some time with each other. Unfortunately, my mom and I have been at Crossing to run some errands. Our trip also included having to spree around the city and do some on-the-list shopping with my mom, with the addition of many other things unconsciously bought. XD

Pizza, which they themselves bought at the local pizza parlor, was served together with milkshakes they bought on their own. My mom and I had loathed Cindy since she did not gave us time to prepare for her visitors. Instead, I found my mom cook lunch for us [at around 3pm!]

Yesterday was Nicher's (arnie's nephew from his cousin) first birthday. I was invited, but I did not come since my classes ended at 7 pm already! I would have loved to come lest he fetched me (haha) because my mom also wanted me to come for the food. hahaha, talk about eating! XD

About school, I was so stupid to inform Jam about ____'s plan to leave. Why? Maybe I was so stricken with grief since I found out that ____ would leave in the near future also! XC Like, it's the nth news I heard about leaving school and transferring to other place and continue studying in that place! It's not that I want them to have a hard time to leave, but of course, who would want to be away from your close friends! Those whom you already considered as part of your life( and things of the same context)...

4 days already?!

I think it's almost more than that! How could I be so tired already when it was only four days since I started my classes, with two of the weekends gone by have already been given to me (unlike last semester which only had Sundays and Wednesdays considered to be day offs!)

Could you actually imagine having your 12 hours out of you just so you would stay at school? It's actually what most of scenarios anyone is most likely to encounter, but it's actually so tiring, making me yawn like forever while having classes!

There are actually teachers who would want perfect little students. The ones who would study in advance and have the perfect definition of whatever the topic is at hand, then, looking out for poor scholars who do not actually know everything, just something. However, I also think it would be best that we do some advance studying yet it would help us better that he announce whatever assignments shall we have.

Then there's this professor who's giving the students some pressure on reporting and the sort - in which the highest of the group grades would be exempted from one of the major exams all the students should have or else they would get a failing grade. XC

good news and bad news. :(

It was already 4 am in the morning just today, May 27 when I have started to turn of f the computer and put myself to sleep. Guess what? I still managed to have some time watching TV, and had some difficulty sleeping because of my period and all. However, who would have thought that I would only sleep for 4 hours?!

Yes, you read that right! It was also a question for me because I really feel tired during the day. Then there's this plan of my mom to take me with her to Alabang (hi ayee! :]) again! During the trip, I sat on my mom's lap because there are no longer seats available. (yeah! I know! We really are poor people! :[) While seating on her lap, I was all the time nervous of being thrown to SLEX because we were a meter tall wall apart from the main door. puh-lease. Thanks to God, I am still safe and sound, and currently on the right mindset, as of now.

*******************

anyway, I have some good news on myLot! :)

1. I already earned about $2.53 (and I can tell you! It was really hard to earn!! I had to sit in front of the computer and think of a million ways on what to respond or what topic to start in discussions and who to refer!)
2. My star is already colored red with the level 9! How cool would that be! When I started myLot, I thought everybody had their own star and level. I think I did best not to think of myself as included. -_-
3. I have so many respondents - as of now. XD really cool. :)

*******************

BAD NEWS My friends are currently having their own overnight/sleepover at Jenny's and I didn't even know about it until someone sent a group message talking about why she wouldn't be there to join THEM!

And I thought I've been a good friend. :(

All is now done. And I hate it.

Our documentary about Coping with Stress is now complete and has been passed on to our teacher, at last. This was our final requirement for our subject psychology…Imagine, we were 19 in a group, and yet, only [almost] three were doing the editing part! Come on. What kind of groupings is that?! Even in the mere ‘filming’, we were only few…and you could just imagine how ‘hard’ it is to work for the project yourself!

I hate our leader, who only remembered us by the time that we have been saving our work in its perpetual place—the blank CD. He even said that he was ‘constantly’ checking out our project, when in reality, he’s just a man of words! From the start, I have hated him because he’s someone objective. He wants everything to revolve on his own, so it is his fault that many of our group mates are never interested with making it. Also, he was always defending his ideas, at the same time rejecting ours. How could a leader do that anyway?!

You’re such a loooooooosssssseerrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

How could you ask us when will we edit the video, when you know that it is due today?! How could you?! T_T

I hate you. You’re such a loser.

Those members who aren’t even helping—even with just lending us money, you’re all such losers! I hate you all!

Another thing about this event is that I was the host for the equipments. You know what I mean. It was in my family’s house, my family’s computer, my family’s bedroom, my family’s food budget…and everything else connected. But nobody contributed anything else except for the hard work that JR and Jam did...Could I mention Jinky’s camera? L

My other project at school was for NSTP, where my grades would be based upon. Would you like to know how fast I did that? Let’s say one hour. And it’s where my final grade would be coming from. T_T

It was a good thing that arnie, was always there to help us in any way. T_T

If only he could be one of my group mates, I certainly will not mind. Thanks for always being there. Thanks for not leaving us, especially me, on times like this.

God, sorry for posting these words, I just want to let it all out… I don’t want to hate anybody, but because they make me, at least, in here, they would know. T_T

Sorry for my sins. Thanks for lending us time to finish what we ought to do. For the everyday blessings and guidance and help, thanks. For giving us knowledge on what to do and also during our finals, thank You.

I will not do it again. Hope fully. T_T

pardon...

for posting...NOT! for being idle and not updating. alam ko kasing, meron namang nag-aabang sa post ko---kahit papano.. haha...

anyway, just yesterday, I went to my dentist for my monthly check-up... recently, there has just been this unwanted gap in between three of my teeth, and so I have to check up on it. but then, it was sooooo depressing that the event of what I was expecting came to a halt---my dentist's child, or children?, was/were having fever...I was waiting for about 4 hours----waited for nothing.

after knowing that the wait will do me no good, and after my mom called that I go back to where she was, I headed to Alabang. On my way there, I have ridden in a jeepney where along the way, a maniac rode also. He was actually staring at my poor legs, which everybody I know think of as annoying [I was wearing bermuda shorts because it was so hot during the afternoon we left home]. after some time, he even moved to the seat just across me--with his camera phone in his hand! I have even thought that maybe he'll take an image of my thighs... thank God, He protected me from wicked-minded guys.

well,anyway,.today was just another day, though, I started it with God. woohoo!

another thing is that, it is september 5, in which signifies an important event--always.,also, today is arnie's first day at his job as an official nurse..

By the way, I have just watched High School Musical 2 [where I envied them, especially Gabriella who's got the hottest guy in school... ] and Evan Almighty, a comedy and a heartwarming movie for the family...

unhappy.

I’ve been reviewing like crazy, but still, I find time for myself.
To devote myself to God.
To have some yakking with my friend.
To contribute to my household some chores.
And to have some time for him.

I have long logged into my account for instant messaging.
I have waited for him to login to his, too.
I have made myself ready to have long times talking to someone I miss.
But then, he just made me review again.

And so, I am depressed.
I am desperate.
I am unhappy.
I am miserable.
I am gloomy.

Can you blame me?

MIDTERMS.....

Midterms started my day. First one to agonize is my chemistry Lecture—for we also have Laboratory. I admit that I have not studied my lessons and exercises that well, not until I was on my way to school, reading my photocopies of the past lessons in my ridden jeep.

I have taken the course for granted, really, and I am regretting for that. PRELIMS were exactly what you define “simple” and “easy” and that made me think that MIDTERMS will be the same. Unfortunately, it was not. It was as hard, REALLY hard. I never knew what to do, especially that I only reviewed for the definitions and formulae to be remembered (those, which are recurrently mentioned in most of the practices.)

Can you imagine having the compounds written at its actual name, and not as its chemical formula? In addition to that, how could I predict the products of the reactants anyway? I never knew. I have studied Balancing Equations and Redox Reactions, yet I was never sure that I have configured out the right symbols for the compounds. HOW COULD I ever pass?

Nevertheless, it was a relief that it was not only I that was tormented by the situation, but also my classmates! Haha!

Subsequent to the above situation, it was in Psychology where I also have not studied. BOOHOO. tell me: how to deal with flunking exams and dreaded answers? I have only gotten 31/50. boohoo. boohoo.

I know, this is a lesson that I must live by: never underestimate things that go your way. They can be easy at most times, but they can also be rough and THREATENING!!

desperate. rants.

wala lang. hindi ko lang alam kung bakit ganito...May 15, 2007 ata ang dahilan.

i think, the only thing that keeps me going, for now, is the fun fact that i've got real friends.. a supporting ..[arnie]?

anlungkot ko kanina, as in nung inumpisahan ko siya e. tapos, ngayon.. edit2,.. haha.pero, ewan, yun nga.

as i look back, katulad kanina..i remember someone joking about admiring me. haaay nakooo... pero, ewan, it gives me flutterbies. haha

anyway, i'm currently watching The Correspondents. andon si Mikaela Fudolig, and she said something like "meron akong kakilala na matalino, pero, dahil restricted yung curriculum nila, they don't go beyond"...meron din daw siyang mga kakilala na tinatamad na mula sa kanilang katalinuhan, kaya hindi nalilinang...

ngayong teacher na siya, gusto raw sana niyang i-educate yung mga tao.. sayang raw kasi ang mga bagay2...

haay, siya na ang Summa cum laude.. 1.099 ang average? kamusta ka? T_T

"Only 16 years old, Fudolig is the youngest student to be graduated by the University in the recent years and one of only two admitted to UPD without a high school diploma and without taking the UP College Admission Test. She was only 11 years old and a sophomore at the Quezon City Science High School when she was granted permission to enroll at UPD as a non-degree student, having volunteered for a prototype Early College Placement Program the UPD College of Education was spearheading. After earning remarkable grades for an academic year, the Department of Education (DepEd) endorsed her admission to UPD, which was approved by the UP Board of Regents on May 30, 2003."

-----naalala ko lang yung sabi ni **. la lang. school nila yun e. quesci... tapos, ngayon, naunahan pa siya maka-graduate ng college. hehe.. XP

anyway, balik sa The Correspondents.. andami ngang pinagdaraanan ng Gifted Child. la lang.. nagfee-feeling ako. haha. there's something going on inside me. nyek.

bakit ganon? si Shaira Luna, inggit ako sa kanya noon e.. galing kasi.. tapos, ngayon, photographer na siya.. maganda naman.. gusto ko rin sa De La Salle University. hehe. tapos, photography.. nakita ko yung mga pose na pinapagawa niya sa mga clients niya,, wala lang.. prang ang gaganda.. tapos, yun nga raw, prang, she let go the memory of the past.. ngayon lang daw siya prang nagiging bata.. o.o

haay. dahil sa kapapanood ko, kung ano2 na naman pumapasok sa isip ko.. haay.

take me somewhere else, PLEASE!!

i'm hating my school, really.

it only makes me sick of it. grabe.

with almost no classes, and with corny subjects..

i'm still wishing that i'd be at highschool, with my long-time friends.. with great, active and enthusiastic teachers on subjects that MATTER---unlike everywhere else...-.-

i've been really troubled with my sleeping, especially last night. i woke up at around 2am and haven't got back up to my sleep until around 4am. then, i had to wake up at 5am... so, in short, i hardly got to sleep.

when i did get to my school, i was horrified to know that there were no classes at all! the worst part is that we had to stay at school, because it was not officially announced. we had to stay until the whole day's dismissal, not knowing ALL of them won't attend our class.

so much for the "early-to-school" drama.

P.S.

a text from someone in the past.

"no love can hurt as much as the love that can never be.. And no thoughts can hurt as much as the thoughts of a love that could have been.."

random thoughts:

~~~~~~~bakit andaming nag-aadd sa friendster, kahit na friends ko lang ang kilala talaga nila?
~~~~~~~bakit ang hirap magplano ng isang date?
~~~~~~~bakit andaming late na kung mag-"care"?
~~~~~~~bakit ang hirap magbigay ng regalo sa lalake?
~~~~~~~bakit kelangan ko mag-nursing?
~~~~~~~bakit ngayon ko lang nakita yung sa STFAP ko?
~~~~~~~bakit ayaw nila asikasuhin yun?
~~~~~~~bakit ang pangit ng sistema sa pilipinas?
~~~~~~~bakit ang "ex" [???] ko, ambata na ng gf ngayon?
~~~~~~~bakit may debut pa ang mga lalake, wala namang handaan?

first love.

i just thought of it a while ago, while we were on the bus ride home. it was, as always--during sundays when people around me gather up and say, "hindi ka tutuloy sa UP? sayang yun, BioChem!"

well, anyway, i have seen it all again unto me, but of course, in a whole new instance. as the heading implies, well, i have associated myself with someone lamenting over his/her first love.

i remember myself crying every night, as if i have lost some beloved fellow, and i always turn out waking up with chinky eyes...then, another mourning when nightfall comes.

such a way that lasted almost 6 months. well, at least, i got over that love by now... YET, another first love occurs. my love for UP. okay,so, i know that i'm totally overreacting, but you know, i just can't find a way to let it all out. i've been aspiring of this since i was younger...enough said.

nothing but hate.

hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin kaya. naiiyak ako...
naalala ko pa rin yung mga usapan namin noong highschool ako...
yung,kapag raw nakatapos ako ng biochemistry, ako na raw ang magiging druglord ng batch namin...yung, baka habang naglalakad ako sa daan papuntang Rob Manila, baka ma-discover daw ako...yung, baka maka-meet ako ng guy...may kotse rin...haha

naaalala ko pa, yung pag-iyak ng mga kaibigan ko sa akin... sa tuwing maiisip raw kasi nila ang graduation, ako lang ang naaalala nila... ako lang raw kasi ang mapapalayo, sila, magkakasama pa rin...tapos, yung plano rin na magpa-transfer na lang ako sa LB...para magkakasama pa rin kami...[abbie, if you're reading this, i can only say that i am still keeping that text.]

yung daddy ko.
namimiss ko siya. siya lang kasi ang naniniwala sa akin. siya lang ang may gusto na tumuloy ako. kaya lang, hindi ko naman kaya na maghirap siya at ang pamilya ko... buong sweldo na kasi ata niya yung malamang na makukuha ko kung nagkataon na tumuloy ako.

naalala ko rin yung noong grad...habang nasa bleachers ang parents at sister ko, tinext ko ang mommy at daddy ko ng "sorry, wala man lang akong medal na naiuwi para sa atin."
sabi naman ng daddy ko, "anak, no need to ask sorry. wala kang kasalanan. mas proud ako na naging anak kita at sapat na ang ikaw lang ang pumasa sa UP manila. mas proud ako don than medal..."

wala lang. si daddy rin yung nag-asikaso sa akin. i mean.. sabi niya, kung gusto ko raw,bakit nila ako ide-deprive...

wala lang. wala naman magagawa...hindi ko naman sinasabi na hanggang salita lang sila... wala lang. they made me expect everything.

the event of passing UP was the greatest in my life. inakala nilang matalino ako and everything, i have even mentioned the gift which pastor steve gave me,,,because, as he said, i worked hard these past few years of my highschool life.

nung kasal ni tita prose, may 25, kinamusta ni pastor rolly yung magiging buhay ko as college student sa manila.

ako:"hindi na po ako tutuloy e."
pastor rolly: "bakit?"
ako:"masyado pong masakit para pag-usapan...joke."
pastor rolly: "e,bakit nga? hindi ko alam yun,a?"
ako:"ganon po e..."
pastor rolly: "o,sige. kausapin ko na lang ang mommy mo."

tapos,kinabukasan, narinig ko na lang sa pag-uusap ng mommy ko at ng mga friends niya, yun nga. kinausap nga raw siya ni pastor..HINAYANG nga raw na HINAYANG e...

wala lang. sayang naman, hindi pa rin niya na-convince si mommy...

si tito dennis din...
"sayang yun! ang hirap kayang makapasa sa course na yon!"

[paulit-ulit yan. kaya. iyak na rin ako ng iyak]

alam niyo yung commercial sa knorr? yung, "pa-MANILA na siya..."

wala lang. I HATE IT. ako sana yun.

bakit ang hirap kalimutan....

ng UP?

habang naririnig ko yung kanta ng Paramore na Let This Go, lalo akong nababaon sa emotional depression. I hunger for the opportunities that I might have missed because of deferring my slot.

wala lang.basta. ang hirap. everything about UP makes me cry. it makes me want to give up. bakit ganon? T_T

bakit ako pa ang nabiktima? marami naman na ang nursing a? bakit kelangan ko pa makisama?T_T

for once in my life, i have felt like i was as bright as those whom i only got to see. wala lang. lagi silang, "ang galing mo naman,. kaw na UPM",,, mga ganon.. wala lang.. hindi ko pa kasi naranasang maituring na maging matalino e...at dahil lang don sa UP na marami ang nag-LOok up sa akin...wala lang..kaya, masyado akong nilunod ng pagiging iska. hindi ko man lang naranasang magsuot ng UPM tshirt tuwing thursday. makaranas ng NSTP sa diliman... maging isa sa mga taong nakikita ko dati sa loob ng PGH na kagalang-galang at palakad-lakad lang, habang may dala-dalang malalaki at makakapal na libro..ang mag-take part sa pag-search ng libro sa "lib.upm.edu.ph"

....

ang magsawa sa isang malaking mall sa loob ng isang sem. ang maging malapit sa national book store kung san pwede akong magbasa ng walang tigil.

i'm soooo bored!

andito ako sa bahay, walang ibang ginagawa kung hindi:

• manood ng dvds/vcds
• kumain ng chocolates [at kung ano2 pa]
• naghihintay ng tawag mula sa kanya
• mag-blog?

haay. antagal na nung huli akong lumabas ng bahay para gumala... namimiss ko na yung hs friends ko...

in time,mawawala na ako [sa laguna]. mawawalan na ng time para kami makapag-samasama ng matagal. kung magkakaroon man, limited lang. haay.

why do i have to be this far from my friends...?

hate this dinner.

ang malas. nsayang ung food! may nksama kasing safeguard..[sabon..] kadiri. syang lng..sinigang p man din un..fave ko..tapos, ganon lang ang lasa..t.t

Division Achievement Test

hate it! i woke up at 4 am last friday,only for that event. syang ang effort..t.t there were those who always came late and made the effort of having to wake up early in the morning just so our teacher won't be infuriated. [she always does. she even SOMETIMES blurt out things better left unsaid... otherwise,things NEVER expected by a student from her teacher.] anyway,my dad just come home from Tarlac. he went to his hometown to visit his family [brothers and sisters]... we weren't able to come because there are still classes on going. besides,since we have no car,and the transportation fares were expensive, we then considered it as a good [and economical] decision..xp i miss my friends. grabe. there are only 13 days left. 13 days before the legacy ends. t.t