"I just don't want to miss anything."

I have downloaded the tracks Secondhand Serenade have months ago, and I am currently having my first time listening to them. To my surprise, I am having some hard time myself because these songs are so dramatic and romantically involved when it comes to emotions that you want to portray.

And now, because of this, I think I am missing someone...Especially now that he actually posted that he would be away from the blogging world for some time, with his baggages being readied for tomorrow morning.

I think it's just what some newborn teenage Christians would actually be conscious about because most of the people our age have their own romantically close friends....

And to think that I had one for a long time, and in which I have fallen so hard - and deep - it would be such a struggle to keep him from coming back to you and all those memories, which happen to be always happy and exciting and the ones you can never forget. How I wish I could make him understand.

However, I have made my decision of following after Christ, and yes, I was very well informed that it is one of the things that I would lost - a lover. Well, I am glad the drama was over. Good thing I have stumbled upon Tita Tetch's blog (and it was oh-so-relieving.)

Want to join me be comforted? Click here.

I missed Jobel.

Since Saturday night, my mother, my sister and I have been to Parañaque for an invitation by the Sornillo family of staying to their home...and I missed being on their very inviting home. We arrived there at about some minutes past 6pm, and what greeted us was the manila paper in which Bij scribbled, "Welcome Home Jobel"...(it's because Jobel attended a 1month long summer camp at Bacolod)

Anyway, walang pics during those moments so nvm na lang. haha. ang tamad ko talaga mag-pic. XO tapos, na-amaze na naman ako sa napakaraming libro ng "Sornillo Library", at andami ko pang nakita na nasa aking "must-read" books. haay. sayang nga lang dahil hiniram ko muna yung Nancy Drew niya.

nanood kasi kami Saturday night ng Nancy Drew the movie, tapos ayun, bumalik na naman yung eagerness ko na magbasa ng Nancy Drew books, pero dati kasi natigil na dahil naging tamad at kunwaring busy sa school. kaya hiniram ko nga yung book nilang dalawa. and mind you, for the first time, nagbasa ng novel si Cindy!! hahahahaha :))

At siyempre hindi pa tapos ang mga impluwensiya sa akin nilang magkapatid. Andun yung mag-aral ng piano ulit dahil may mga sessions sila bago kami umalis, saka nung gabi pinag-aralan namin yung mga beginner's book nila. haha. katuwa. sana naman matupad pa ang mga frustrations ko,db?

Katuwa talaga yung taong yun. haha. pero, hindi ko rin minsan maintindihan. hahaha, kasi minsan tahimik siya at mahiyain, minsan maingay at makulit. haha. naalala ko tuloy yung mga kwentuhan namin tuwing sundays years ago. sayang, hindi ko man lang nagamit yung bawat moment para lalo pa kami maging close. akala ko kasi noon, every sunday talaga kami magkikita since members naman ang parents niya sa church tulad ng sa akin.

haay. nvm. nway,I could live in a place like theirs someday. pero sana hindi kapag matanda na ako. sana kasama ko pa rin ang family ko sa lugar na iyon. ayoko pa magkababy pag nangyari na yun. gusto ko pa rin ng maayos na buhay, ganong pamumuhay.

pero, I can only dream. yes, it's only a dream.

As of now, I am still contained with what I am and with what I have and with my God. :) kaya okay na rin. haha, gusto ko lang din sana na mangyari. haha. :)

pineapple madness.

it has been a long day for me - though I woke up at around 10-11 am - doing everyday routines like sweeping the floor, dish washing (I am scheduled every one day), tv watching and of course, surfing the net. I had a hard time anyway because my sister and I share our computer thus making it hard for me to share my thoughts.

Why pineapple? It's my healthy snack. I had to make sure that there is a supply of pineapples everyday, and we do a sweetened snack (so easy to do) so that my body would avail itself of detoxification....but anyway I think it's still on the process. XP Imagine I ate about 4 cups of sweetened pineapple just this whole day [or at least during afternoon onwards)!

wait. why do I conceive the rolling pineapple from 50 First Dates? o.o

Anyway, my parents just talked about financial relations over the internet [because my dad is in KSA], and just think of our current situation! I know that they are already fine with each other but just picture that my dad has his business with him, and my mom is helping, but still there are no cash left for miscellaneous things that we also need to pay for..I just hate it when there will be a reality check. Thanks to my grandma, she still helps us whenever we are short on budget - however my dad don't want us to ask for help from her. Reality check, she's just helping us because you can't. I'm not mad at you dad, okay. I'm just wondering why does it have to be this way.

*******************

About my real thoughts about God, I think I still have a lot more to work up on. talk about spending time in my devotions. -_- most of the days,I did accomplish reading His word and marveling on the thoughts and inculcating the sense of it all to myself, but then there would be those times that I feel like I am only doing so because it is one of my duties. I hope and still pray that God will still bless me in my devotions and that He would grant me the desires of my heart, while praising and glorifying Him. ._.

Sunday school XD, and what I heard from Tita B.

It was last Sunday, November 18, and yes, we went out to church. It's not just a ritual anyway, but it is a time of renewing our souls with spiritual blessings, lavishly. To my surprise, we arrived almost before the middle of the sermon, because we always get there late.

The Church of Thyatira was the Sunday school's topic. They were people of compassion towards each other, as you are in a big family. You can see in them that they grow in love, service and faith… But Jesus saw one thing against them: they were tolerating a member, in the name of love, a false prophetess named Jezebel, who from the Old Testament was:

• A daughter of a Pagan
• Supporter of the prophets of Baal
• Issuer of a death threat to the prophet Elijah

The Jezebel mentioned could be someone symbolically, which was the reason why I related it to the Jezebel of the Old Testament, or it could be that Jezebel is her real name. Because of Jezebel, Christian principles that they could have been practicing were ignored, so Jesus grieved them for that. What we can do is that we keep our trust and honesty to God.

Encouragements:

1. "I place no other burdens on you." – Revelations 2:24 (restraint from fornication…and others.)
2. "Whatever you have, hold fast until I come." – Revelations 2:25 (It will be a struggle/war, but those who persevere will rule with Jesus. Psalms 2)
3. Jesus is our bright morning star, amidst the dark world. – Revelations 22:16

And so, I just wanted to share this because I find its implication/s… I mean, as for me who meets more people for friends [i.e. NEW classmates], this is essential that I keep what I stand for, and that I won't be pulled away from those things because of even just a friend. It's just great; I hope I made you understand…reader... ;)

***

Anyway, the night of that Sunday, we were given a chance to go home, with tita B accompanying us as she goes to hers. Her place was nearer, I might add. While we were on our way, mommy and tita were talking about things, so as not to keep a dead air. From all the things that they were talking about, one thing tore my heart.

It was her nieces. Tita b had her nieces attend the church every Sunday, since summer?...or so I thought. She related us what happened the time they got to meet again after years that led to their comeback attendance to the church that my family also attends to.

She said that it was one Sunday morning when she ran out of medicine, which did occur that one time. While on her way to a drugstore, she heard someone calling her name; as it turns out, those were her nieces, in their dresses, and told her that they were looking for a church. A situation in which is rare among many individuals, especially the teens.

It struck me because, for almost all my life, I have been nurtured with the words of God, in different churches—mostly at Parañaque—and only this time of my life am I searching for God… (and sometimes, i even find myself just idling around, not having the desire.)

But then again, it's a lesson learned.

Sana, kayo rin.

kadayaan ng Zaido, “Click”, mga mata ko…at si God.

Zaido, yung pinaka-bagong kinaaabangan [raw] sa evening shows ng GMA, ay nagshooting kamakailan lang ng mga eksenag matatagpuan sa munisipyo at kabahayan… sa amin banda yun. Siyempre, kapag may shooting, maraming artista..at ang mga taong sabik sa artista [tulad ko] ay ginugustong makapunta sa site. Hehe. Tapos, dumating pa noon yung mga kaklase ko…gawa ng documentary na sinusumpa ko… Habang gumagawa pala kami overnight noong octover 19, nag-shooting pa pala sa mas malapit na lugar sa amin ang mga tao. Kaasar. Sayang. T_T

Yung sa Click naman, napanood ko yun kagabi sa HBO.. T_T [pero, mas appropriate pala na kaninang umaga].. Tapos, ayun, hagulgol na ako. T_T kasi naman..ganon pala ka-precious yung time. I mean, alam mo yun.. Masaya nga na mangyari na agad ang mga bagay sa future, pero, ang laki rin pala ng mami-miss mo kung hindi mo na-savor yung every moment…and these are what made me cry…[xc]

• • Teenager na pala yung mga anak niya
• • Patay na pala yung aso nila
• • Napahiwalay na pala siya ng tirahan sa pamilya niya
• • Naghiwalay na pala sila ng asawang mahal na mahal niya
• • Patay na pala yung ama niya
• • Kinasal na pala yung anak niya

Basta, napaka-drama. :(

Tapos, ganon yung feeling ko rin towards God. I mean, mamamatay na pala ako, hindi pa pala ako nakakapag-express ng love sa Kanya.. as in yung baptism and everything.. hindi ko man lang nagawang worthwhile yung buhay ko para sa Kanya… Basta. Ganong ka-dramahan. Hehe.

Tapos, andami kong naalala.napakayakap ako sa mommy at sa kapatid ko… nakapagpa-ring rin ako ng cp ng … ko.

Yung sa mata pala..ayun. kawawa na yung mga mata ko.. kasi, dikit na nga siya sa pc screen ko, tapos, nababasa-basa pa ng mga luha. pasma na sila. mabubulag na ako! T_T

joke lang. XD

1 month..

..na pala akong walang post. haha. sorry. ang tamad ko kasi, anyway, andami kong dapat alalahanin/ikwento. T_T

muntik nang maghiwalay ang mag-asawa sa pamilya namin.. T_T kasi naman, ang daming issues. T_T kelangan ko lang palang umiyak sa harap nung isa at sa tenga nung isa..ok na rin, at least, buo pa rin kami.. >.<

yung isa naman, ang aking school life. may crush ako, and i'm making it complicated pero, hindi naman talaga. masarap lang siguro maging close sa isa. when you would think of leaving someone named 'kune', you would not think again about it. parang, one step away lets you get back to him twice. weh. haha.

tapos, yung sa group ko nga pala sa documentary.. kaasar yung feeling leader. T_T pero, i don't want to get personal. ayoko kasing magka-away kami. but REALLY, i hate your leadership skills!! read: he's NOT considering suggestions, what's worse? he opposes it! as in contradiction to a higher level. okay lang sana kung ni-rereject lang niya e. tapos, siya pinapagawa namin, ngayon naman, galit siya kasi walang pakisama. hello!! T_T

sana lang, makakuha pa rin tayong maayos na grade--kahit hindi na mataas! T_T

anyway, matatapos na pala ang sem. ewan ko lang kung kelan. haha. talk about irresponsible studenthood! haha. [ano raw?!]

sa church:

ang isang batang dating umaaway-away sa akin, nagdi-discriminate and all, ay nagbago na.

binago na siya ni God. Ruth anne was baptized just last week. andun si jonn = bonding. ;) tapos, sabi raw ni pastor sa mommy ko, ako raw yung inaasahan niyang susunod.. :( haay, mahal ko si God, and all. pero, what if, iniisip ko lang na ganon? may radical change nga ba sa akin? [tamad pa rin ako e... ------does this even count?]

help. T_T