Award! ||salamat XD||

First time ko nga pala magkaroon ng award… salamat kay "kuya tanom"…;)

Ewan ko ba kung anong meron, pero, next time ko na lang ilalagay sa site ko. Hehe. Salamat ulit. ;)

Kahit hindi ako nagb-blog hop these days, salamat.

Nakakapag-post nga lang ako dahil dito sa MS Word 07, na pwede akong mag-publish ng blog agad. Hehe..

 

Feeling busy ang nursing student…may anatomy na kasi.

Ngapla, p515.04 lang binayaran ko this sem!! XD

Saka, may 7 ang total ng sciences na kelangan naming pag-aralan ngayon. T_T

Tapos, hindi ko pa classmate sila…

T_T

 

La lang.

Pero, salamat na rin at may Arnie. XD

Sunday school XD, and what I heard from Tita B.

It was last Sunday, November 18, and yes, we went out to church. It's not just a ritual anyway, but it is a time of renewing our souls with spiritual blessings, lavishly. To my surprise, we arrived almost before the middle of the sermon, because we always get there late.

The Church of Thyatira was the Sunday school's topic. They were people of compassion towards each other, as you are in a big family. You can see in them that they grow in love, service and faith… But Jesus saw one thing against them: they were tolerating a member, in the name of love, a false prophetess named Jezebel, who from the Old Testament was:

• A daughter of a Pagan
• Supporter of the prophets of Baal
• Issuer of a death threat to the prophet Elijah

The Jezebel mentioned could be someone symbolically, which was the reason why I related it to the Jezebel of the Old Testament, or it could be that Jezebel is her real name. Because of Jezebel, Christian principles that they could have been practicing were ignored, so Jesus grieved them for that. What we can do is that we keep our trust and honesty to God.

Encouragements:

1. "I place no other burdens on you." – Revelations 2:24 (restraint from fornication…and others.)
2. "Whatever you have, hold fast until I come." – Revelations 2:25 (It will be a struggle/war, but those who persevere will rule with Jesus. Psalms 2)
3. Jesus is our bright morning star, amidst the dark world. – Revelations 22:16

And so, I just wanted to share this because I find its implication/s… I mean, as for me who meets more people for friends [i.e. NEW classmates], this is essential that I keep what I stand for, and that I won't be pulled away from those things because of even just a friend. It's just great; I hope I made you understand…reader... ;)

***

Anyway, the night of that Sunday, we were given a chance to go home, with tita B accompanying us as she goes to hers. Her place was nearer, I might add. While we were on our way, mommy and tita were talking about things, so as not to keep a dead air. From all the things that they were talking about, one thing tore my heart.

It was her nieces. Tita b had her nieces attend the church every Sunday, since summer?...or so I thought. She related us what happened the time they got to meet again after years that led to their comeback attendance to the church that my family also attends to.

She said that it was one Sunday morning when she ran out of medicine, which did occur that one time. While on her way to a drugstore, she heard someone calling her name; as it turns out, those were her nieces, in their dresses, and told her that they were looking for a church. A situation in which is rare among many individuals, especially the teens.

It struck me because, for almost all my life, I have been nurtured with the words of God, in different churches—mostly at Parañaque—and only this time of my life am I searching for God… (and sometimes, i even find myself just idling around, not having the desire.)

But then again, it's a lesson learned.

Sana, kayo rin.

Two years…;)

Two years ago, November 16, 2005, I had the chance of meeting up with someone I wouldn't think of as special. His name is Arnie. We met in a Bible Study, but never really talked because I had someone protective, not wanting me to talk with any other guy...but of course, it's only when we are together. XD

Yesterday, we were given a chance to go home earlier than the allotted time because the professor we were suppose to have was absent. Upon our homeward bound, Nesty, Jam and I were surprised to see someone wearing a white shirt, which was similar to Yael's [which he wore on their video, Bitiw]. It was Arnie, typically wearing his Levi's shirt, and Levi's pants, and Levi's watch, and Levi's necklace, and Levi's wallet…and who knows what other things? XD [just kidding, Arn! XD]

It was almost 3 pm that time, and if our classes had been resumed, he was going to wait for a long 1 hour and 30 minutes just to see me, and have me given his gift! [Well actually, it was what Nesty was worrying about. XD] Of course, who wouldn't be all-smiles with that event? XD I was, and still am. J [Though we're now just good friends. J] I also was shocked, because I wasn't expecting him, nor I didn't know that there was a celebration…

It was only when we were already in a jitney going home that I remembered the date. The November 16 day, and I was so sorry that I didn't remember… On our way home, we talked about many wonderful things, which are so overwhelmingly memorable. Through the tricycle ride, the driver took us around the village before we could 'take off' only to find out that my mother and my sister were in a place needing a long walk to go to.

He was actually not planning to accompany me home, but since I insisted, he refused to reject the invitation. He was also worrying that maybe my mom would be disappointed since he only asked permission that he drop by at my school so he could give me a gift.

During our time together, he cooked me a siesta…and gave me a free treat, and reminded me of how beautiful life is, even if school comes along. I could never forget such a person…

Anyway, the gift was a box of Goldilocks…;) At first, Jam and I have thought of it as a chocolate cake, both our favorite… but it was actually something that I have long been craving for! XD [PM me for the gift..XD]

Before he left –which was the hardest part of his visit it took us some time to actually stand up…and start our way out…but never mind. I was just so thankful that God has let this happen again, after a long time. At least, He still permits us to become friends and be there for each other…after all, it's all for Him.

Dock Pins and First Days…

    Last Tuesday, while I was too busy to blog [with the exception of my journal], my friends and I have decided to have a small gathering by playing dock pin. I was late, because I had my class until 4.30, and our meeting time was 3. [I know.] So, I had to go home as fast as I could, change clothes as fast as I could, and eat for my lunch [I didn't] as fast as I could so I could go to Los Baños as fast as I could. [I know.]

    Another thing was, during the afternoons, in which most people would probably be going home. I spent almost 20 minutes, enough for the whole trip in a place called Anos, and there by Celine's street, I have been able to see and have a little talk with her.

    At Vega, I have seen Arian and Melissa walk along its street from the other side of the road, that I got no chance to greet them. It was so dark already; I was so scared of not being able to be with them, because at UP, you will never know what happen. Good thing they were still there, so I had the chance to play with them. It was a great excitement, because it was my first time, and they were even laughing…>.< unfortunately, the ones in-charge were so lazy to make business with us that they only gave us 'a' chance to play.

    With so little time for them to prepare for their first day of class the next morning at 7.30, we departed at a time we didn't want to. As for me, I had to travel through the night [?] to get home. Before our departure, Katrhina wished for us to have lovers who would have wheels…And we all came back to Carmichael. T_T

 

 

happy birthday, Celine! XD

ngayong october 25..

Habang ang mga kapitbahay naming ay nagkakantahan ng "Kailan" by MYMP at "Dahil Mahal na Mahal" Kita by Roselle Nava, ako naman ay nanonood lang ng E! News, kung saan maraming Hollywood News. O.o tapos, kinasal na pala si Giuliana [read as Juliana].. wala lang. XD

Akala ko, paggising ko, tatamarin ako.

Hindi pala. Haha.

 

Grabe, inutusan kasi ako na maglinis, meron daw kasing darating na bisita..edi, taranta ako. Haha. Tapos, ayun, naglinis na nga ako…Masaya, kasi andami kong nagawa. For the first time this season! Haha. Naghugas akong mga plato, nakapag-chop ako ng gulay at ito—nalinisan ko yung mala-Halloween naming bintana at grills at upuan sa labas. Haha. Nakakatuwa lang. XD [first time kasi sinipag ng ganito…sana,magtuluy-tuloy. Haha.]

Tapos nga pala. Marunong na ako gumamit ng MS Outlook! Haha, ngayon lang. XD sorry naman. Ö

Ayun,mejo updated na. hehe.saka pala, sa wakas, nakakita na ng OTH DVD si mommy!! XD

sayang naman.

I wasn't able to go to my high school friend's get together lunch last time, and even this day's movie marathon. It is just that I had to go to my dentist [whose long line always bothers me]… T_T I really had to go anyway because my teeth are becoming worse...T_T [by the way, I also missed the Fiesta at my college friend's house. I thought we were going to have a gathering again, but I was too lazy to get up early this morning. It was raining, how can I not? Ö

Anyway, I accompanied my mom to Natasha, Alabang branch, where she does her transactions and stuff, as a sideline to earn money. As she was roaming around for a possible gift for my cousins in Zamboanga, I was not on her side. [drama mode?! Joke. Gusto ko lang sana gumala, e, stuck naman ako sa dental clinic ng dentist ko.] Ate May was there, my mom's cousin who lives in Makati, and they were talking big time, long lines and innumerable topics. Maybe they just miss each other. Unlike my cousins and I, we are not that close. I even sometimes envy those of my classmates who live in a compound where they live with their relatives…and grow close bonds, unlike here in a village where there are people whom you don't want to get close with. And people who are hard to be close with. And people whom you really don't know and don't want to know.

 

Ayun lang.

Pero, Masaya pa rin ako ngayong pag-uwi namin kasi may available na bus diretso sa amin, at wala na masyadong lakarin. Haha.

kadayaan ng Zaido, “Click”, mga mata ko…at si God.

Zaido, yung pinaka-bagong kinaaabangan [raw] sa evening shows ng GMA, ay nagshooting kamakailan lang ng mga eksenag matatagpuan sa munisipyo at kabahayan… sa amin banda yun. Siyempre, kapag may shooting, maraming artista..at ang mga taong sabik sa artista [tulad ko] ay ginugustong makapunta sa site. Hehe. Tapos, dumating pa noon yung mga kaklase ko…gawa ng documentary na sinusumpa ko… Habang gumagawa pala kami overnight noong octover 19, nag-shooting pa pala sa mas malapit na lugar sa amin ang mga tao. Kaasar. Sayang. T_T

Yung sa Click naman, napanood ko yun kagabi sa HBO.. T_T [pero, mas appropriate pala na kaninang umaga].. Tapos, ayun, hagulgol na ako. T_T kasi naman..ganon pala ka-precious yung time. I mean, alam mo yun.. Masaya nga na mangyari na agad ang mga bagay sa future, pero, ang laki rin pala ng mami-miss mo kung hindi mo na-savor yung every moment…and these are what made me cry…[xc]

• • Teenager na pala yung mga anak niya
• • Patay na pala yung aso nila
• • Napahiwalay na pala siya ng tirahan sa pamilya niya
• • Naghiwalay na pala sila ng asawang mahal na mahal niya
• • Patay na pala yung ama niya
• • Kinasal na pala yung anak niya

Basta, napaka-drama. :(

Tapos, ganon yung feeling ko rin towards God. I mean, mamamatay na pala ako, hindi pa pala ako nakakapag-express ng love sa Kanya.. as in yung baptism and everything.. hindi ko man lang nagawang worthwhile yung buhay ko para sa Kanya… Basta. Ganong ka-dramahan. Hehe.

Tapos, andami kong naalala.napakayakap ako sa mommy at sa kapatid ko… nakapagpa-ring rin ako ng cp ng … ko.

Yung sa mata pala..ayun. kawawa na yung mga mata ko.. kasi, dikit na nga siya sa pc screen ko, tapos, nababasa-basa pa ng mga luha. pasma na sila. mabubulag na ako! T_T

joke lang. XD

I need a new layout. T_T

So bad… waaah!
ang tagal na kaya nitong huli kong layout..saka, nakakapagod na sa mata. Hehe.

Gusto ko sanang gumawa ng customized layout with navigations and all..kaya lang, ang hirap naman.. haha. Sorry for being such a loser with coding and layouts and things. Help!
ilang araw na kaya ako naghahanap ng magandang design na pwede kong gamitin, pero, walang nangyayari.. L gusto ko sana, sarili ko ring gawa… bina-base ko naman sa nakikita ko sa blogskins, pero, gosh. Ang hirap. T_T
Jobel, help!

Sembreak ka naman na,db? XD

Anyway,kanina..habang may quest ako na makagawa ng bagong layout, pumunta ako sa 'meeting' kunwari ng aking classmates para sa sembreak outing naming. Haay, kamusta naman. T_T pagdating ko ba naman don, group nila nesty sa documentary—at magpapasa [lang] pala sila ng [napakaganda, compared to ours] nilang project! T_T

Ayun, nainggit na naman ako. Haha. Pero, it won't be getting inside of me! Hope fully.

All is now done. And I hate it.

Our documentary about Coping with Stress is now complete and has been passed on to our teacher, at last. This was our final requirement for our subject psychology…Imagine, we were 19 in a group, and yet, only [almost] three were doing the editing part! Come on. What kind of groupings is that?! Even in the mere ‘filming’, we were only few…and you could just imagine how ‘hard’ it is to work for the project yourself!

I hate our leader, who only remembered us by the time that we have been saving our work in its perpetual place—the blank CD. He even said that he was ‘constantly’ checking out our project, when in reality, he’s just a man of words! From the start, I have hated him because he’s someone objective. He wants everything to revolve on his own, so it is his fault that many of our group mates are never interested with making it. Also, he was always defending his ideas, at the same time rejecting ours. How could a leader do that anyway?!

You’re such a loooooooosssssseerrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

How could you ask us when will we edit the video, when you know that it is due today?! How could you?! T_T

I hate you. You’re such a loser.

Those members who aren’t even helping—even with just lending us money, you’re all such losers! I hate you all!

Another thing about this event is that I was the host for the equipments. You know what I mean. It was in my family’s house, my family’s computer, my family’s bedroom, my family’s food budget…and everything else connected. But nobody contributed anything else except for the hard work that JR and Jam did...Could I mention Jinky’s camera? L

My other project at school was for NSTP, where my grades would be based upon. Would you like to know how fast I did that? Let’s say one hour. And it’s where my final grade would be coming from. T_T

It was a good thing that arnie, was always there to help us in any way. T_T

If only he could be one of my group mates, I certainly will not mind. Thanks for always being there. Thanks for not leaving us, especially me, on times like this.

God, sorry for posting these words, I just want to let it all out… I don’t want to hate anybody, but because they make me, at least, in here, they would know. T_T

Sorry for my sins. Thanks for lending us time to finish what we ought to do. For the everyday blessings and guidance and help, thanks. For giving us knowledge on what to do and also during our finals, thank You.

I will not do it again. Hope fully. T_T

1 month..

..na pala akong walang post. haha. sorry. ang tamad ko kasi, anyway, andami kong dapat alalahanin/ikwento. T_T

muntik nang maghiwalay ang mag-asawa sa pamilya namin.. T_T kasi naman, ang daming issues. T_T kelangan ko lang palang umiyak sa harap nung isa at sa tenga nung isa..ok na rin, at least, buo pa rin kami.. >.<

yung isa naman, ang aking school life. may crush ako, and i'm making it complicated pero, hindi naman talaga. masarap lang siguro maging close sa isa. when you would think of leaving someone named 'kune', you would not think again about it. parang, one step away lets you get back to him twice. weh. haha.

tapos, yung sa group ko nga pala sa documentary.. kaasar yung feeling leader. T_T pero, i don't want to get personal. ayoko kasing magka-away kami. but REALLY, i hate your leadership skills!! read: he's NOT considering suggestions, what's worse? he opposes it! as in contradiction to a higher level. okay lang sana kung ni-rereject lang niya e. tapos, siya pinapagawa namin, ngayon naman, galit siya kasi walang pakisama. hello!! T_T

sana lang, makakuha pa rin tayong maayos na grade--kahit hindi na mataas! T_T

anyway, matatapos na pala ang sem. ewan ko lang kung kelan. haha. talk about irresponsible studenthood! haha. [ano raw?!]

sa church:

ang isang batang dating umaaway-away sa akin, nagdi-discriminate and all, ay nagbago na.

binago na siya ni God. Ruth anne was baptized just last week. andun si jonn = bonding. ;) tapos, sabi raw ni pastor sa mommy ko, ako raw yung inaasahan niyang susunod.. :( haay, mahal ko si God, and all. pero, what if, iniisip ko lang na ganon? may radical change nga ba sa akin? [tamad pa rin ako e... ------does this even count?]

help. T_T

kaguluhan ng buhay,.

i went out to see my doctor. la lang. acidic raw ako. :( tapos, baka may goiter pa... i-uultrasound pa ata ako sa sunday morning. waaah!! katakot...:(

sa school, medyo not so fluky... waaah... hindi kami prepared sa isang activity e...[hmp. ok lang!]

we performed the funniest anyway.. at least, napatawa ang audience. haha. tapos, nakakatuwa na naman ang mga boys sa school. hehe. XD basta. hehe. ang saya talagang may alalay. XP [joke. XD]

at least, hindi ko na kelangang magbuhat ng mabibigat kung san-san. hehe...meron na rin daw manlilibre palagi sa akin. haha. ako na PG!!

na-miss ko tuloy sila kat. sila kasi kinukwentuhan ko ng mga kwentong kakikiligan at kwentong ka-PG-han e...:( ditse,siyanse,ina,jenay..payong..amixu..:((

anyway, na-open ko na kay mommy yung tungkol kay close friend at tungkol sa mga unsaid adventures ko.. la lang. at least, hindi siya nagalit.. :D

last. may fiesta-han kina Lerry!! woohoo!!

[ganan kagulo buhay ko. whehe... XD]

kilig...

Hay nako...

kilig-kilig na naman si kate...kahapon... XD

it was monday, in Psychology. Our class's activity was to have a poster about yourself [we did this last week], then relate/explain it to our class... one thing made me flutter and go red... it was jake's.

his work was fine. i don't actually remember all, but I do remember one thing: the heart, and in that heart-drawn image, it was my name.

While he was presenting, he was his usual self... being calm and maybe nervous, cause he always take a long time presenting in class... then he stated at the end that he's in love. Everybody cheered, then asked who it was...

he answered, and said that it was a secret.

but then again, ms. matu, from the back called out, "hindi ba natin pwedeng sabihin na si Cathleen ang [hindi ko na tanda]...?" tapos, kinilig ako. hahahaha.... XD

yun. haha. tapos, isa pa.

si close friend, ilang araw nang may sinasabing "may sasabhin ako sa iyo..." tapos sabay bawi, "ay, wag na lang.nalimutan ko na e,.."

tapos, yun. may knwento ako sa kanya, tapos, napaamin siya. [yesss...]

sabi niya, crush daw niya ako---simula sa simula palang. [yesss...]

LAST.

There was this young man who waited for me to finish my class... he waited during this time range: his time out from work till 4.30, then he headed towards my school to fetch me up... [yun palang, sweet na...]

though he was late [lage namaaaaan!!], I waited for him outside my campus... then, he arrived... >,<>,<

tapos, ayun, knwento ko yung mga bagay-bagay na nangyari earlier.. ang reaction ba naman, "meron din akong kilala.. lagi siyang naiinlove--sau.."

>,<>

While headed home, he got my bag [dapat lang. XP] .. when we were almost near the jeep's terminal, i had my bag, so i could check my phone.

Then, IT was there. one thing that makes me happy, and maybe what makes him glad too.. it was our cinnamon roll. [ la lang. ang sweet kaya...]

He also got me a Cheetos...[yun nga ba?] la lang.

tapos, yun. tatlo sila ngayon. hehe. JOKE! XD

good girl ako. hanggang kilig na lang muna. ;)

pardon...

for posting...NOT! for being idle and not updating. alam ko kasing, meron namang nag-aabang sa post ko---kahit papano.. haha...

anyway, just yesterday, I went to my dentist for my monthly check-up... recently, there has just been this unwanted gap in between three of my teeth, and so I have to check up on it. but then, it was sooooo depressing that the event of what I was expecting came to a halt---my dentist's child, or children?, was/were having fever...I was waiting for about 4 hours----waited for nothing.

after knowing that the wait will do me no good, and after my mom called that I go back to where she was, I headed to Alabang. On my way there, I have ridden in a jeepney where along the way, a maniac rode also. He was actually staring at my poor legs, which everybody I know think of as annoying [I was wearing bermuda shorts because it was so hot during the afternoon we left home]. after some time, he even moved to the seat just across me--with his camera phone in his hand! I have even thought that maybe he'll take an image of my thighs... thank God, He protected me from wicked-minded guys.

well,anyway,.today was just another day, though, I started it with God. woohoo!

another thing is that, it is september 5, in which signifies an important event--always.,also, today is arnie's first day at his job as an official nurse..

By the way, I have just watched High School Musical 2 [where I envied them, especially Gabriella who's got the hottest guy in school... ] and Evan Almighty, a comedy and a heartwarming movie for the family...

open letter?

Today was a drastic moment in my life. This Sunday, I thought of having a happy post about the Cheesy Pops, the Calamares and the Kare-Kare that we did have just this two days before, when we were in Parañaque. I was happy of eating things that doesn't usually lying on the table whenever I am only at home.

But then, I thought wrong.

Why are there inconceivable things that are bound to happen, when you know you didn't want them? especially, if you know for yourself, and promised, too, that you won't do?

Sorry.

another day with him. :x

dahil [siguro] sa drama ko kagabi, refer to the previous post, dumalaw siya dito... nagtagal nga siya e...

mula 1pm ata hanggang roughly past 6.30 siya nandito... la lang.. happy....

unhappy.

I’ve been reviewing like crazy, but still, I find time for myself.
To devote myself to God.
To have some yakking with my friend.
To contribute to my household some chores.
And to have some time for him.

I have long logged into my account for instant messaging.
I have waited for him to login to his, too.
I have made myself ready to have long times talking to someone I miss.
But then, he just made me review again.

And so, I am depressed.
I am desperate.
I am unhappy.
I am miserable.
I am gloomy.

Can you blame me?

MIDTERMS.....

Midterms started my day. First one to agonize is my chemistry Lecture—for we also have Laboratory. I admit that I have not studied my lessons and exercises that well, not until I was on my way to school, reading my photocopies of the past lessons in my ridden jeep.

I have taken the course for granted, really, and I am regretting for that. PRELIMS were exactly what you define “simple” and “easy” and that made me think that MIDTERMS will be the same. Unfortunately, it was not. It was as hard, REALLY hard. I never knew what to do, especially that I only reviewed for the definitions and formulae to be remembered (those, which are recurrently mentioned in most of the practices.)

Can you imagine having the compounds written at its actual name, and not as its chemical formula? In addition to that, how could I predict the products of the reactants anyway? I never knew. I have studied Balancing Equations and Redox Reactions, yet I was never sure that I have configured out the right symbols for the compounds. HOW COULD I ever pass?

Nevertheless, it was a relief that it was not only I that was tormented by the situation, but also my classmates! Haha!

Subsequent to the above situation, it was in Psychology where I also have not studied. BOOHOO. tell me: how to deal with flunking exams and dreaded answers? I have only gotten 31/50. boohoo. boohoo.

I know, this is a lesson that I must live by: never underestimate things that go your way. They can be easy at most times, but they can also be rough and THREATENING!!

mondays are the sweetest.... ;)

starting next week, there will be no classes for 3 consecutive Mondays, [woohoo!!! isn't my title correct?! i told you so!! haha...XD]

the events responsible for such a hearty cheerful event are the following:

~~~a seminar for teachers

~~~the national holiday for Ninoy and

~~~another thing. [i don't know really. ]

anyway, it has been a drowsy day, in which early in the morning, we have almost overslept.. then, there's that moment when I almost slept in our last subject [where the teacher was situated in the back part of the room...]

know what kept me going? Candy Mag! haha... it's a good thing that Daniel Radcliffe was on the cover, hence, Des wouldn't buy that issue...

TRIVIA: I do read Candy Mag every month, but only through Llendl, my friend back in hs, who collects them since 2004..

Anyway, I miss my hs friends. It's unfair that they do see each other any time they have vacant hours, while as for me, I'm left with

my day.

we were answering our Lab printouts when all of a sudden, my groupmate told me this:

"alam mo ba kung bakit ako lumalayo? ayoko kasing ma-develop.."

nothing. i just can't help not to remember.. it was such a statement I couldn't help not to notice. XP we were in serious air when he said that.. also, earlier that day, he was actually ignoring me... [because, i opened the topic about the concert in which he might also be able to attend... o.o]

at around 1.30 pm, while waiting for my last class at 2 pm, a group of guys went into my way and one of them asked...

Guy: "miss, pwede bang mahingi number mo?"

Kate: "no. :)"

he went away, then returned with a statement readied...

"tanda mo ba nung acquaintance, yung naghahagis rin ng lobo...?"

Kate: "alin? yung maintenance?..*hehe*"

"hindi... yung nakikipaglaro..."

Kate: "hindi ko maalala..."

"sige, yung number mo na lang..."

Kate: "wala akong load. :)"

"ok lang... hindi talaga?"

Kate: "OO."

anyway, just about late this day, and early this evening, jenny, my long-time friend who goes to school at UPB just went back to her place---in the north. it was such a grievous [arte?!] moment, because we know that it would be a long time again for us to meet soon... plus, think of the busy moments THEY would be having. [asa pa sa akin. ako?! maging busy sa school namin?! o.o]

anyway, i have just read his blog...blogs actually. ang sweet....>.<

and i just couldn't stop falling...:x

random updates... :D

umuwi na si jenny galing baguio...! haha.... XD wala man siyang pasalubong, mas na-appreciate ko pa rin na dumating siya, at mahal na mahal pa rin niya kami... naks. :D

-------andaming kwento, pero, pinakagusto ko yung tungkol sa org jackets! haha... [usually kasi, org shirts lang.. haha...

magkasama kami ni arnie kanina. hihi... [kinikilig :x]

may manicure at pedicure si ditse!!

naka-maong pants si trish!

nagpakain si faith!

cars.

it's a frustration when i see one.
because, we can't afford even for a used sedan.
because, we're the only one with none at most places.

whenever it comes across me, whether it's a luxury car or just a sedan or suv or the like, it just sweeps me off my feet.

it makes me want to have one.

it makes me want to wish that i'm from a different family.

that i'm from a different place.

having these luxuries.

haha. drama. kasi naman, naalala ko lang yung kahapon, patawid ako ng crossing... kung saan, maraming tao at kotse ang naglalaro sa daan..

tapos, merong isang shining shimmering new sedan--Mercedes Benz pa, tapos, ayun. hindi na ako nakatawid. naiwan na ako sa tabi, habang nagsisilakad na yung mga taong tatawid rin. la lang. adik. haha. daya, bakit pa kasi ako naging interesado don? e, can't afFORD naman kami... hehe...

pero, ok na rin siguro. at least, hindi ako yung palaboy-laboy sa kalye.

at least, hindi ako yung taong hindi makapag-aral dahil sa kahirapan.

at least, meron akong magulang.

at least, meron akong pc.

at least, meron akong matinong pag-iisip. [? hehe...]

at least, meron akong kinakain.

[[speaking, andami ko nakain ngayong hapon pa lang.. o.o

---*hot loops' blueberry cheesecake

---*julie's bakery's cinnamon bun [3]

---*calamares [6 pieces]

---*shrimp tempuraSsSsSs.... [ganan kadami] tapos, napakaraming tubig na nainom. hehe.. XD]]

desperate. rants.

wala lang. hindi ko lang alam kung bakit ganito...May 15, 2007 ata ang dahilan.

i think, the only thing that keeps me going, for now, is the fun fact that i've got real friends.. a supporting ..[arnie]?

anlungkot ko kanina, as in nung inumpisahan ko siya e. tapos, ngayon.. edit2,.. haha.pero, ewan, yun nga.

as i look back, katulad kanina..i remember someone joking about admiring me. haaay nakooo... pero, ewan, it gives me flutterbies. haha

anyway, i'm currently watching The Correspondents. andon si Mikaela Fudolig, and she said something like "meron akong kakilala na matalino, pero, dahil restricted yung curriculum nila, they don't go beyond"...meron din daw siyang mga kakilala na tinatamad na mula sa kanilang katalinuhan, kaya hindi nalilinang...

ngayong teacher na siya, gusto raw sana niyang i-educate yung mga tao.. sayang raw kasi ang mga bagay2...

haay, siya na ang Summa cum laude.. 1.099 ang average? kamusta ka? T_T

"Only 16 years old, Fudolig is the youngest student to be graduated by the University in the recent years and one of only two admitted to UPD without a high school diploma and without taking the UP College Admission Test. She was only 11 years old and a sophomore at the Quezon City Science High School when she was granted permission to enroll at UPD as a non-degree student, having volunteered for a prototype Early College Placement Program the UPD College of Education was spearheading. After earning remarkable grades for an academic year, the Department of Education (DepEd) endorsed her admission to UPD, which was approved by the UP Board of Regents on May 30, 2003."

-----naalala ko lang yung sabi ni **. la lang. school nila yun e. quesci... tapos, ngayon, naunahan pa siya maka-graduate ng college. hehe.. XP

anyway, balik sa The Correspondents.. andami ngang pinagdaraanan ng Gifted Child. la lang.. nagfee-feeling ako. haha. there's something going on inside me. nyek.

bakit ganon? si Shaira Luna, inggit ako sa kanya noon e.. galing kasi.. tapos, ngayon, photographer na siya.. maganda naman.. gusto ko rin sa De La Salle University. hehe. tapos, photography.. nakita ko yung mga pose na pinapagawa niya sa mga clients niya,, wala lang.. prang ang gaganda.. tapos, yun nga raw, prang, she let go the memory of the past.. ngayon lang daw siya prang nagiging bata.. o.o

haay. dahil sa kapapanood ko, kung ano2 na naman pumapasok sa isip ko.. haay.

katakot. T_T

pero, hahabaan ko na rin. andaming thoughts e... parang nasa highway... nagpapabilisan. [ok. corny.]

nway, kanina ay ang pinakaunang araw kung kailan bigla akong gininaw, nahilo at ang tiyan ay nakaramdam ng sakit.. hindi naman ako gutom, kasi, araw2 naman na akong ganon e.. o.o haay. nu kaya meron? Hyperacidity? T_T

dahil nga don. nag-skip ako ng class.. hindi ako umattend sa last class ko for the day [NSTP] kung saan, perfect si Nestydel Rozon. [naks! special mention.. ;)] ilan kaya ako don? T_T haha..

ang sweet pa man din ng mga pangyayari [joke.:D] kanina, kasi, nasa gitna ako ng 2 cute [daw] from the class. e, mejo ka-close ko rin kasi. haha. masipag sila mag-aral e. so,dikit ako,, pra mahawaan. haha.. ;) [ako nga pala ang highest sa english. 46/50. nyek.]

tapos, pagkauwi ko, napagalitan pa ako! pano ba naman kasi, baka raw mas masama yung mangyari sa akin.. pano raw kung sa daan pa ko mahilo.. or something.. T_T

buti naman at iningatan ako ni God.. saka, medyo ayos na ako ngayon.. i hope so. :D

NAKAKATAKOT NA PART:

[kaya ako nakapag-post ng ganito.. T_T] meron daw kasing kumakalat na balita, dito sa Calamba... kwento na nag-alarma sa lahat ng schools sa paligid... T_T here it goes... just recently, July 13, 07.. merong 2 3rd yr hs from Calamba Institute na naglalakad pauwi---sa tabi ng national road.. tapos, biglang merong isang van na tumigil at kumuha sa kanila... :( sinuntok pa nga raw yung tiyan nung isa, kasi nagpumiglas siya... dahil pinilit silang pumasok sa loob ng van, nakita nila ang iba pang mga estudyanteng kapwa highschool---mga nanghihina... meron daw isang galing sa St. Benilde Int'l School at isang galing rin sa Barretto [tamang spelling ba?] National High School [dito lang yun sa calamba..private at public schools, respectively.] e, habang traffic sa kanto ng national road, don sa intersection ng pa-manila at pa-south, naglakas-loob yung taga-Calamba Institute---yung hindi nasuntok sa tiyan---na tumakas... nakalabas naman silang magkasama, tapos, bigla raw nagsisigaw... e, dahil nga intersection yun, with traffic lights and policemen, biglang nag-speed up yung van, kaya harurot daw yung van.. kaya hindi nahabol ng pulis... T_T at kanina nga raw, almost 1 week after what happened, pumasok na yung student.. tapos, yun.. pinaalam na sa mga schools dito sa calamba... [though, nalaman ko lang ito sa kapatid kong grade 6... haay.. gusto kong mag-service ulit! T_T] waaah...

happy. :x

well, who wouldn't bE? after seeing your 'significant other', won't you be in such a bliss? just a look upon his eyes brings you so much joy for having him, and what more, if you're with him, and you're in your own world?

ok, so, i admit it. i'm not good at making people feel so much emotions with my writing unlike almost all people...

but,at least, most of you know what i mean... right?

anyway, tomorrow will be the premiere of the latest Harry Potter movie,..it's a good thing that i was invited to watch it...with most of my new close friends... ;) [though, we all know that preliminary exams are due next week---most especially the scrapbook...T_T]

quick post lang..

quick post lang. :D

mag-aaral pa sa gestalt and existential psychology. hindi ko ata maintindihan e... o, magfee-feeling lang ako mag-aral? haha. joke.

anyway,katakawan ko kasi kaninang lunch e. natatawa ako. sa Jollibee kami kumain ni mommy---tamad kasi magluto for lunch. [tapos, nung dinner, ako nag-guisa ng corned beef! yey, marunong na ako..! ]

tapos, yun nga. hindi kasi ako makapaniwalang ito mga kinain ko:
** crispy chicken burger
** regular fries
** large drinks
** brownie fudge [tama ba?] na sundae
** nacho fries

yun, tinulungan naman ako ni mommy..pero, grabe! busog na busog ako.. waah! antakaw ko na..

at last. :D

after many months of idling around, at last, i have managed to finish "life guide...", a short story published in candymag's teentalk!

teehee...XD

unsophisticated and corny as i am, i have been smiling my heart out----haha, ang corny. tagalog na nga lang..O.o

bsta. hehe. kinikilig ako sa mga ka-corny-han ng mga bagay2.. wah! natatawa ako sa sarili ko..kasi naman, ako lang mag-isa kinikilig, tumatawa...kamusta naman,db? haha...

haay. as of now, i can only say that i'm really wanting to be with him. wah. i can't even send him a message.. i've got no prepaid load, and he's not available online...oh no.

take me somewhere else, PLEASE!!

i'm hating my school, really.

it only makes me sick of it. grabe.

with almost no classes, and with corny subjects..

i'm still wishing that i'd be at highschool, with my long-time friends.. with great, active and enthusiastic teachers on subjects that MATTER---unlike everywhere else...-.-

i've been really troubled with my sleeping, especially last night. i woke up at around 2am and haven't got back up to my sleep until around 4am. then, i had to wake up at 5am... so, in short, i hardly got to sleep.

when i did get to my school, i was horrified to know that there were no classes at all! the worst part is that we had to stay at school, because it was not officially announced. we had to stay until the whole day's dismissal, not knowing ALL of them won't attend our class.

so much for the "early-to-school" drama.

P.S.

a text from someone in the past.

"no love can hurt as much as the love that can never be.. And no thoughts can hurt as much as the thoughts of a love that could have been.."

random thoughts:

~~~~~~~bakit andaming nag-aadd sa friendster, kahit na friends ko lang ang kilala talaga nila?
~~~~~~~bakit ang hirap magplano ng isang date?
~~~~~~~bakit andaming late na kung mag-"care"?
~~~~~~~bakit ang hirap magbigay ng regalo sa lalake?
~~~~~~~bakit kelangan ko mag-nursing?
~~~~~~~bakit ngayon ko lang nakita yung sa STFAP ko?
~~~~~~~bakit ayaw nila asikasuhin yun?
~~~~~~~bakit ang pangit ng sistema sa pilipinas?
~~~~~~~bakit ang "ex" [???] ko, ambata na ng gf ngayon?
~~~~~~~bakit may debut pa ang mga lalake, wala namang handaan?

college na ako.

haay. i can only think of what my life could have been---sa UP... though,i can say, ok na rin. i've got lots of friends now in LIT... only thing that makes me wonder is the fact that there are actually people who were from such different, not to mention distant, places. i mean, i almost felt that i am in UP.. haha..

peace. it was because there are those who really are from palawan, paete, san pablo, sta.rosa.. really funny.. also, there was Rio, the girl whom almost everybody from my class talks about because of having someone...haha..if you know what i mean..XD

anyway, this day only brought about 2 hours of having proffesors in front of us. i mean, why did they waste my time? why do we have to attend our first day in almost 5 hours when all we have to do were only introductions to each other...

anyway, there were GOLDEN foods, i mean, hello! why do they have to be so expensive? O.o if i were in manila, maybe, i could accept that fact---but hello?! laguna lang to, haha. probinsya. bakit ang mahal? O.o

it was a good thing having jerick around..;) he treated us [me???] with a bunch of choco crinkles [yum2! :D] and also the fare back home... such a great guy..;) jerick was my first suitor in highschool...[old romance? lol.]

anyway, i'm REALLY eager for our jaunt to Makati, where i grew up! ;) we'd be going to The Fort, Greenbelt and somewhere else. hihi... i'm always loving the Urban life...XD malls, oh, malls.. why do i have to be away from you...?

if i were to study in UPM, one thing that i would really like to be doing is wander around Rob Manila... haay... shattered dreamS...

ORIENTATION.

grABe, kamusta naman..? 8.30-4 pm kami sa school..waah! antgal..orientation lang naman ang ginawa..O.o haay.sabi na,waste of time lang yun e...T_T

waah..anyway, i was there with friends whom i weren't close with for a long time---until this day came.;) hehe..

andaming nursing sa school ko. haay. andaming competitors sa mga bagay2..sana, i'll achieve my goal this time. i want to graduate with flying colors... i don't want to disappoint everyone anyway..

haay. ito na naman ako,nangangarap. i hate it this way, lagi na lang kasing heartbreak ang bagsak ko. as usual.

two years and a day..

so, it was two years. since i guaranteed someone to keep him for myself...and it ended up within 6 months. sad, but true.

well, actually, it wasn't really a real and serious oath, for i was still so young.. though, i wanted to keep it, things really do change, and for me, it happened all so fast.

regrets doesn't happen in this side of my life anyway, though, it disturbs just a LITTLE bit. you know what I mean...i'm happy with whom i am with anyway...;)

recently, we're having this short conversations. [really. short. concise. to the point.] the casual talk is always about, guess what?, UPM...until these words sprang up. "stop chasing other's dreams."

I do have mine, yet, what do you suppose i SHOULD do?? i can never bring my dream back to life again. i left it since i last cried on it...waaah! basta. hindi na ako pwedeng bumalik don. bakit? pag-aaralin mo ba ako? T_T

14But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your hearts, don’t brag about being wise. That is the worst kind of lie. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and motivated by the Devil. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil. ----james 3:14-16

and so, it happened.well, anyway. back to the topic.

nagtext siya, kung tanda ko pa raw ba yung notebook? [trivia. first gift yun na nagtatagal kung saan nakalista ang tracklist ng pinakaunang compilation ng mga dedicated na kanta para sa akin..at take note. meron pang tig-isang tula ang mga kantang iyon. haha...*nauna kasing natanggap ko na galing sa kanya ay LOAD. haha. lolz.*]

i looked for the notebook. i was told by someone else that his heart still shouts every word from that gift...then, he also mentioned the song "tensionado"...[actually,i never liked that song. haha, peace.]

first love.

i just thought of it a while ago, while we were on the bus ride home. it was, as always--during sundays when people around me gather up and say, "hindi ka tutuloy sa UP? sayang yun, BioChem!"

well, anyway, i have seen it all again unto me, but of course, in a whole new instance. as the heading implies, well, i have associated myself with someone lamenting over his/her first love.

i remember myself crying every night, as if i have lost some beloved fellow, and i always turn out waking up with chinky eyes...then, another mourning when nightfall comes.

such a way that lasted almost 6 months. well, at least, i got over that love by now... YET, another first love occurs. my love for UP. okay,so, i know that i'm totally overreacting, but you know, i just can't find a way to let it all out. i've been aspiring of this since i was younger...enough said.

the past

someone on my messenger list has been making me inquisitive recently..some time ago, it went out something like this:

"gusto kita, gusto mo ko. gusto ka nya, gusto mo siya! ang galing, di magkagustuhan na lang tayo!"

yet,i only summon up the things that have been happening on me almost a year ago.

when someone was actually coming and i'm wanting to let him in...yet the other won't want to leave---until now. but, i have made him leave. wala lang. i'm missing everything that also left. especially our friends. our church. our friendship. our loiters. his time. his tutorials. his everything. [huh? bakit ngayon lang?] meron din, nakakamiss yung car. haha. mga kayabangan. gtec. o2 jam. tapos, yung isa. koreanovelas, anime.

[hindi ba ako masaya ngayon?]

MASAYA. :D happy, ecstatic..and everything. but of course, whenever i go down to memory lane, it happens. and so, i have to bear.

what can i say? i'm so emotional...T_T

post note.

i've been spending my time at bianca's blog...argh. i can't help it. i feel like a stalker or something...

[with spongecola's dragonfly on the playlist...haay. i miss you.]

a good thing.

i've been chatting a LOT these days, and i think i have to lessen it. there were two nights that ended late. and so, i must stop.

but then again. i just can't help myself.

well,anyway. there was this guy who added me on his friends' list. then, the next thing i know was that we were babbling away. XD

[peace. his name is carmigz. he commented and tagged before i knew him.]

anyway,it was such a good [great] thing that i knew him. then, if we haven't met, i could have been thinking that i'm the most forlorn human in this world. anyway, he has the same fate as i am.

he's someone who also passed my long-lost loved university---UP Manila, and he got a slot in the college of nursing! cool! he's also someone from the province who wanted to study in Manila. [though he had studied in manila science for his high school, he will be studying at DLSD..]

[pampam lang. natutuwa ako e. hahaha.]

hindi man ako aalis...

may papalit naman sa akin.. Sa UP Baguio, tutuloy ang marami sa mga kaklase ko. Annalyn de Guia, Jenny Lyn Suarez at Angela Cajudo [raw] para magpatuloy sa UP... dahil kelangan nila yung slot nila. dahil UP yun. wala lang. inggit ako. T_T

what really happened.

haha.. katuwa.. i can still remember my first day..

pero, bakit ganon? gabi siya nagkaron. haha..

anyway,we went to greenhills yesterday where we found treasures. haha. ang tagal nga namin don e.. tapos, medyo naligaw pa kami sa Rob. haha. wala lang.

katamd..O.o

nag-unli nga pala ako...hehe...kkamiss rn pala magtx,,XP

ngaung gabi, meron ng Smart Bro sila arnie! daya..gusto ko rin..hehe.. chat kami..
haha..ang sya,,XP

nothing but hate.

hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin kaya. naiiyak ako...
naalala ko pa rin yung mga usapan namin noong highschool ako...
yung,kapag raw nakatapos ako ng biochemistry, ako na raw ang magiging druglord ng batch namin...yung, baka habang naglalakad ako sa daan papuntang Rob Manila, baka ma-discover daw ako...yung, baka maka-meet ako ng guy...may kotse rin...haha

naaalala ko pa, yung pag-iyak ng mga kaibigan ko sa akin... sa tuwing maiisip raw kasi nila ang graduation, ako lang ang naaalala nila... ako lang raw kasi ang mapapalayo, sila, magkakasama pa rin...tapos, yung plano rin na magpa-transfer na lang ako sa LB...para magkakasama pa rin kami...[abbie, if you're reading this, i can only say that i am still keeping that text.]

yung daddy ko.
namimiss ko siya. siya lang kasi ang naniniwala sa akin. siya lang ang may gusto na tumuloy ako. kaya lang, hindi ko naman kaya na maghirap siya at ang pamilya ko... buong sweldo na kasi ata niya yung malamang na makukuha ko kung nagkataon na tumuloy ako.

naalala ko rin yung noong grad...habang nasa bleachers ang parents at sister ko, tinext ko ang mommy at daddy ko ng "sorry, wala man lang akong medal na naiuwi para sa atin."
sabi naman ng daddy ko, "anak, no need to ask sorry. wala kang kasalanan. mas proud ako na naging anak kita at sapat na ang ikaw lang ang pumasa sa UP manila. mas proud ako don than medal..."

wala lang. si daddy rin yung nag-asikaso sa akin. i mean.. sabi niya, kung gusto ko raw,bakit nila ako ide-deprive...

wala lang. wala naman magagawa...hindi ko naman sinasabi na hanggang salita lang sila... wala lang. they made me expect everything.

the event of passing UP was the greatest in my life. inakala nilang matalino ako and everything, i have even mentioned the gift which pastor steve gave me,,,because, as he said, i worked hard these past few years of my highschool life.

nung kasal ni tita prose, may 25, kinamusta ni pastor rolly yung magiging buhay ko as college student sa manila.

ako:"hindi na po ako tutuloy e."
pastor rolly: "bakit?"
ako:"masyado pong masakit para pag-usapan...joke."
pastor rolly: "e,bakit nga? hindi ko alam yun,a?"
ako:"ganon po e..."
pastor rolly: "o,sige. kausapin ko na lang ang mommy mo."

tapos,kinabukasan, narinig ko na lang sa pag-uusap ng mommy ko at ng mga friends niya, yun nga. kinausap nga raw siya ni pastor..HINAYANG nga raw na HINAYANG e...

wala lang. sayang naman, hindi pa rin niya na-convince si mommy...

si tito dennis din...
"sayang yun! ang hirap kayang makapasa sa course na yon!"

[paulit-ulit yan. kaya. iyak na rin ako ng iyak]

alam niyo yung commercial sa knorr? yung, "pa-MANILA na siya..."

wala lang. I HATE IT. ako sana yun.

bakit ang hirap kalimutan....

ng UP?

habang naririnig ko yung kanta ng Paramore na Let This Go, lalo akong nababaon sa emotional depression. I hunger for the opportunities that I might have missed because of deferring my slot.

wala lang.basta. ang hirap. everything about UP makes me cry. it makes me want to give up. bakit ganon? T_T

bakit ako pa ang nabiktima? marami naman na ang nursing a? bakit kelangan ko pa makisama?T_T

for once in my life, i have felt like i was as bright as those whom i only got to see. wala lang. lagi silang, "ang galing mo naman,. kaw na UPM",,, mga ganon.. wala lang.. hindi ko pa kasi naranasang maituring na maging matalino e...at dahil lang don sa UP na marami ang nag-LOok up sa akin...wala lang..kaya, masyado akong nilunod ng pagiging iska. hindi ko man lang naranasang magsuot ng UPM tshirt tuwing thursday. makaranas ng NSTP sa diliman... maging isa sa mga taong nakikita ko dati sa loob ng PGH na kagalang-galang at palakad-lakad lang, habang may dala-dalang malalaki at makakapal na libro..ang mag-take part sa pag-search ng libro sa "lib.upm.edu.ph"

....

ang magsawa sa isang malaking mall sa loob ng isang sem. ang maging malapit sa national book store kung san pwede akong magbasa ng walang tigil.

farewell, hopes,ambitions and aspirations...

it was yesterday morning,after i got out of bed,and before my morning rituals that my mom broke up the silence between us.

"mag-usap nga tayo."

it was such a sentence that needed serious and though-provoking attention. then,it hit me. it happened. tears flooded. dreams crashed. my ego never returned.

a decision needs to be finalized..

sentences like these went into the conversation. "sabi ng tita mo,ayaw daw tumulong ni nanay kung hindi Nursing ang kukunin mo.." "kung mac-credit naman ang first sem,edi, tumuloy siya." "sorry, anak. mahirap lang kasi kami ni daddy mo.. hindi ka namin kayang pag-aralin sa manila.." "kahit saang school naman e.. bsta, nursing." "hindi rin naman kasi papansinin kung magdo-doctor siya." "sayang lang ang oras at panahon. kung magn-nursing siya, bakit itutuloy pa niya yung biochem? kung magshi-shift siya, why not now?" "ako naman ang tutulong sa kanya e. ayaw niyo ba non? ako na ang maghahanap ng trabaho para sa kanya? mas mdali na siyang makapag-trabaho dito,mas mdali pa kayong makakapunta abroad." "para sa anak natin, igagapang ko ang pag-aaral nila."

so, yun na yun. i feel like a fraud. loser. poser. ambisyosa.

kasi naman. bakit kasi ang hirap namin? T_T

bakit kasi nauso pa ang nursing? uso naman ang UP kung saan maraming job opportunities. i've been crying a river. grabe, buti pa yung ibang tao..kahit anong course ang kunin nila, ok lang sa parents nila. yung iba nga, tina-try talagang makapasok sa UP...

kaya, yun. goodbye dreams. hindi na talaga ako nakapag-aral sa isang renowned school..EVER. andaya.

hopefully, this won't be the last.

i actually think that i won't be having more of this blogging when i move to manila. i mean,i'd be far away from this pc, and there would be so much time that i need to dedicate to studying.

anyway, there are so many things that i would like to talk about.

i am now enrolled at UP Manila, yet i still cannot settle my account yet.

grabe naman kasi, ang mahal...hindi pa dala ni mommy yung pang-enroll ko...sabi ko kasi, dalhin na niya yung pang-enroll ko e. ayaw niyang maniwala na kailangan ay cash doon, at buo... waah!

andami ring pumapasok sa isip ko ngayon. katulad ng tungkol sa edukasyon ko. gusto ko matapos ang kursong inumpisahan ko dito sa UPM... ayokong maging incompetent, at gusto kong mapakita sa mga tao na hindi lang ako sinwerte na makapasok sa UP, kung hindi dahil magaling ako... gusto kong makita nila yun sa akin... oo na, ako na ang hindi honor nung grad...

pero, pano ko magagawa yan, kung kakailanganin ko rin naman umalis para sa kagustuhan ng mga magulang ko na mag-nursing ako? pano naman ang dream school ko? another thing bothering me is that the cash that

my parents will be splurging on me

. every requirement that i need to pass, every schedule that i need to attend to... every time i have to go to Manila, that alone costs so much---for us. I feel guilty. la lang... sana, naging katulad na lang ako ng classmates ko na, kahit anong course ang gusto nila, ok lang sa parents nila na yun yung kunin nila...

a new life?

our house has been renovated for a better purpose... the extension on the back was sealed with the cement all over...[?] basta, yun. tapos, ni-tiles din yung sahig... hehe... vinyl lang yung dati, ceramic tiles na ngayon anyway...

hindi lang tungkol sa bahay ang bagong buhay.. wala lang...

malapit na rin akong magpa-manila...dun ako magco-college e... haay..ang mahal pa man din ng cost of living don...O.o tatagal kaya ako? pano naman ang utak ko? hindi kaya sumabog kapag kinakailangang mag-aral? waaah...kamusta naman? T_T

s mga freshie na papasok rin sa UP manila, tapos na ba ang pag-file ng STFAP? feeling ko, di na ako qualified don..nsa akin pa rin kasi yung form ko! hindi pa tapos...T_T

anyway, yung nga...malalayo na ako sa pamilya ko, sa mga kaibigan at sa kanya...T_T but, since it's my dream, i have to deal with it...

i want to be a senator.

i watched late last night and one program that caught my attention was The Correspondents: Sarap Maging Senador..the documentary featured a senator's job, his income and his sidelines. grabe. their job have a salary of P35,000/month but when you add the government's budget, they can have as much as millionS! meron pang pork barrel! waaah!!! [kaya,ayos lang magwaldas ng pera tuwing eleksyon]

sabi nila, talino raw ang laban noon.. nakalimutan ko yung name ng dating senador na nagsabi..hehe, senxa naman.. tapos, yun nga.. ang mga senador daw noon, loyal at tapat sa tungkulin.. wala raw sideline. tapos, yung sa panahon ngayon, sideline na lang ang pagiging senador. c'mon. O.o

ang laki ng budget sa pork barrel [ano bang meron don?] at sa mga tauhan nung senador... grabe... ang yaman na nila! no wonder... anyway,saludo ako kay Ping Lacson...^^ katuwa siya, tinanggihan niya yung Pork Barrel..hehe..sila Drilon at Lim din...:D

i'm soooo bored!

andito ako sa bahay, walang ibang ginagawa kung hindi:

• manood ng dvds/vcds
• kumain ng chocolates [at kung ano2 pa]
• naghihintay ng tawag mula sa kanya
• mag-blog?

haay. antagal na nung huli akong lumabas ng bahay para gumala... namimiss ko na yung hs friends ko...

in time,mawawala na ako [sa laguna]. mawawalan na ng time para kami makapag-samasama ng matagal. kung magkakaroon man, limited lang. haay.

why do i have to be this far from my friends...?

I met his family..

it was arnie's graduation yesterday... he asked for my parent's permission a day before the event. at first, i wasn't allowed to go. since i protested on having the permission of my parents regarding his graduation, my father can't argue no more. hehe...;)

so, he fetched me up in our village and in the van was where i met his family...^^ they were so accommodating and fun to be with..I can never forget the [endless]picture-taking [go arcie..], the exchange of informal [funny] thoughts about anything being talked about..xp [go ariane..]

his classmates were so much excited when he introduced me to them..they were like,"arnie, sino yan? sister mo?"...he answered them with a smile...then they responded like,"OMG. girl mo?.. wow, arnie.."...

another instance was when we were about to leave. jen, his cousin, and doy, jen's guy and arnie's classmate, were commenting on him..."andaya mo naman, hindi mo man lang pinapakilala.."

nway,it was fun being with him [and them]

on their compound, he introduced me to his aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma...everyone. >,<

their comments were great...at least, they appreciated me...[they almost welcomed me into their family, though we're not really lovers yet...*d pa legal sa side ko e...hehe*]

grad ... ^^

alright, i know. I have been very busy updating my page. i was trying to make a new layout since it have been months since i last customized mine.

anyway.

Graduation/Commencement Exercises were held at the Covered Court of Barangay Batong Malake, where my school is located. the program started at 1 pm, sharp [we can't afford to start later, cause we were so many]. I was not able to march with my dad who made his effort of going back here in the Philippines [he's an OFW] because he was late--mom too.

The guest speaker is a flight stewardess named Mrs. Dondonay. She is an alumna and a daughter of Mrs. Pangga, the head teacher of Filipino.

It ended at almost 8:30 pm. As far as i know, there were 1,427 graduates--girls and boys combined.

During the program:

***i was situated in one of the hottest seats in the crowd. Grabe. kumusta naman ang init?!

***kuya arvin dropped by. as in, he only let me see me for a second.

***during the grad song, batchmates from the lower sections threw off ACSAT's fan giveaways which led to the outburst of Maura. [we were in tears when she started nagging them. the momentum of the event was crashed. O.o]

***arnie was introduced to my dad..>,<

last monday of being a hs student

it was yesterday when we were practicing [again] for graduation, and everything seems so hopeless. the assignments for the seating arrangement was given, and the honorable mentions are in the stage.

which was what i was expecting since i watched the graduation of batch '04-'05..since ARvin is their salutatorian, i also wanted to become one of the honors of the school, being in stage for the whole graduation rites, looked up to by almost all of the people watching...but of course, my dreams ended there, when my name wasn't called to be one of the qualifieds.

i think, it may be because i missed many of the requirements needed to compute our grade, and i have no choice but to let go of the grade that must have waited for me for a long time. also, our research, which was not favored by our teacher.

also, those who are seated near me are those who are rather, bashful and modest in almost every way. if that would be the case, then to whom will i be able to cry whenever i would feel to be giving up....?

....

while hanging out with my friends, we were talking about the time that we will become college students. we were thinking that it would be painful to be only overlooked by those people whom you once get so closed with, in four years.

....

migliore amico came and he spoiled us with Zagu...;)

....

then, Arnie came..>,< they were dismissed early from his review classes, and he came to LB..^^ we roamed around with my friends, then he also treated us with some snacks...^^ it lasted about 2 hours when we were together, yet i still wanted to spend some time with him.

....

i went home at about 7.30 pm and i was, as expected, they flew into a rage. they were expecting me to come home earlier. they say it was not the time for a teen like me, especially that i am a girl, to come home at 8 pm. they were also appealing that i haven't texted them, yet I did.

hate this dinner.

ang malas. nsayang ung food! may nksama kasing safeguard..[sabon..] kadiri. syang lng..sinigang p man din un..fave ko..tapos, ganon lang ang lasa..t.t

Division Achievement Test

hate it! i woke up at 4 am last friday,only for that event. syang ang effort..t.t there were those who always came late and made the effort of having to wake up early in the morning just so our teacher won't be infuriated. [she always does. she even SOMETIMES blurt out things better left unsaid... otherwise,things NEVER expected by a student from her teacher.] anyway,my dad just come home from Tarlac. he went to his hometown to visit his family [brothers and sisters]... we weren't able to come because there are still classes on going. besides,since we have no car,and the transportation fares were expensive, we then considered it as a good [and economical] decision..xp i miss my friends. grabe. there are only 13 days left. 13 days before the legacy ends. t.t

prom ^^

i was nominated to be one of the finalists of Mr. and Ms. Seniors. I won, yet, I only wanted to be with Arnie that night. He did manage to get into the place, yet, he was forced to leave [though he waited for me inside the school^^].

it was so exciting, especially when you have everyone around to support you,. thanks guys, i felt loved that night. [not that i'm not, but it's the feeling that i wanted for years. hehe.] lam nyo nman mga loner...T_T

i think i'm having someone fall in love with me..O_o i don't want to keep my charm on him, yet, .... ...

nabasa nya. O_O

la lang. anchaka pa man din non..T_T weird.,d man lng xa ngalt..O_o ive been unfaithful for a couple of days {?}/ weeks {?} now..O_o and i'm really grateful for having such an understandng, loving and forgiving Arnie...T_T

daming pangyayari..O_o

galit sya s kin. si a**. feeling ko, ako pnptamaan nya. kasi namn., kslanan ko bang mging bc at d n mkpag-ayos ng gamit?! nwala pa tuloy ung pnaghrapan nyang card..O_o sorry nmn,

kung alam mo lang kung ganong panlulumo inabot ko noon. kasi nman..T_T nwala rin kya ung pnaka-ttago kong Gtec na alaala p ng una naming pgkkta...T_T

ung pnaghirapan nming research, kung san umbsent p kmi pra lng mtapos ang lahat---chapter 1-6, nwala lang lahat. tinanggal kami s grupo. wlang hiya. wlang hiya. ang sama. umabsent nga ako nung monday e..para makatakas s pghhrap ng loob n meron ako..T_T

instead, i went to UST [to have my schedule for the interview that i need to pass] and UPM to check out what i have to do to have my name on their enrollees.. i also went shopping with my mom to ease out a few things. besides,malapt n rin daw kasi dumating c dady! haha. [pray for his safety..O_o]

mgkasama kami ni arnie kanina., after class til almost 10 pm..^^ naglaro kaming o2 jam! haha. naadik n rin ata cla. hihi...^^

Kaya lng, pgkaalis nya,may nkta akong OL s YM ko..T_T it reminded me of my past, though i still have my present., hmm.. gulo. pero, totoo. na-nluv p ksi ako dito..

d nman s nwala si arn s kn, ngunit dhil nging bc xa, at may time sa akin itong isa, nainluv ako ng todo s knya, starstrucked nung una plang, knkilg s bwat salita at bwat gngwa. haaay. i think i was unfair. T_T

soobrang loyal nung isa,tapos, ako........T_T

nway. ok n kmi, may time n uli kmi ni arn pra s 1t-1,,,sweet pa..>,<

walang hiyang feb fair yan. nagpumilit pa ko mag-overnight, pra lang mpuntahn ang isa s mga pborito kong banda, ang URBANDUB, tpos, wla nman pla akong mapapala.!!! pero, sbgay. at least, mgksama kami at sweet. hihi, hihi..

sooooooo frustrated...T_T

i shouldn't worry. pero,bkit ganon? ang lungkot...andami kong nkkitang merong partner khapon..at merong dalang either bouquet of flowers, stuffed toys, chocolates, cakes..kainggit nga e..T_T hnd nman s materialistic ako, pero kasi namn..T_T

I can't help it if I would expect one..meron akong guy e..tapos, parang last week lang,ang daming bnbgay s kn ng isa kong FRIEND..waaah..T_T

tapos,pra ngang hindi kami e. ewan. i tried to be sweet to him..ang cute nga nya nung .....e,pero..T_T

wla. ang lungkot. mas mraming memories dati..prang wlang effort ngaung taon e..o,malamang, knakain lang xa ng tuition nya sa school..graduating na e..(?)

daig pa ko ni cindy [grade 5 kong sis..] ,.T_T

O2 jam, with friends

jaymie, hannah and erika was here in our house so that they can experience playing o2 jam..la lang..it was after the honor society, which was where i am [still] included..[though i slipped off from almost the top..O_o anyway, they were really influenced! haha. na-adik n rin..O_o gya2 s kin..tuwng-tuwa si ekay at nkpag-level-up n xa. haha. kaw na.. level 8 plng ako..T_T tapos, nude p rin ang avatar.. add nman ako ng mga meron account don. haha k8cath username ko..:-P arnie. miss na kta. love you. thanks for coming into my life, and for keeping me [too]. sorry....T_T keep in touch. [waah. ang corny ko. never na uli nging sweet.T_T]

No to New Globe Unlimitxt Service Petition

No to New Globe Unlimitxt Service Petition kelangan nyo puntahan at mag-petition! waaah!! o2 jam na...^^

i thought it was a day worth rejoicing,

it started out great.
the classes were not regulated, the teachers were absent, and my phone was loaded.
haha, unli na naman...^^ the best part is, may kelngan icelebrate from that of last yr. haha. tapos, ng-grad pic pa! ^^

ganda ko raw,,,[feeling?!] andon din si arn, pnayagan n mkpagkta s kin..


nagpaalam nman ako [kmi]...O_o
tapos,syempre, dhil d nman mwwla na mag-merienda, d ganon gnwa nmin..grabe..T_T
pgdting nmn s babaan ng jip, andami n plang missed calls..T_T pati s knya! d nman nmin alam kasi nka-silent mga phone..[lam nyo na, galing s school e..T_T]
tapos, pgdting ko s bhay, galit n galit n c mommy...O_o waaah. tapos, hnd n raw kami pwed mgkta. mxado ko n raw inaabuso si mommy...T_T


waaah. pnon ngyri un?! T_T

UPCAT passer ako! yes!

after the long wait..XD pumasa ako ng UP manila... when i got to school, grabe! andaming bumati at sumuporta sa akin! andaming nag-congratulate, andaming yumakap para i-share ung BLISS na meron ako, simula pa lang nung nakta ko ung name ko.. once again, i felt that happiness--that feeling of importance kapag meron akong nagagwang mgandang bgay..lam naman kasi ng mga malapit tlga sa akin na mdalas akong magdrama--madalas kasi, feeling ko, "nobody cares" akala ko tlga, niloloko lang nla ako na pumasa ako ng UP MANILA,Bio Chem pa! natuwa ako, kasi nakta ko ulit ung mommy ko na sobrang saya para sa amin ng mga kaibigan ko..grabe, halos ipagsigawan na niya kung gano siya ka-proud sa akin..^^, very happy,,,XD

already over it.

i have posted in my multiply's blog the message my heart wanted to shout to the world last tuesday. [almost.] well, anyway.. it's all over between me and my feelings.. all i wanted was to be admired by someone everybody talks about.. i never expected it would come true.. i thought, i could make him fall for me--sadly,the joke was on me. how pathetic.i've learned my lesson, and i would want to say sorry to those who got involved. i feel helpless, i just made my lyf more miserable. what a horrible dreamer i was?! T_T